Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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