i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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