I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
