I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Pappa wants mamma naked
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
