if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
