The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize