sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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