She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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