I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize