i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
