there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
