totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
