If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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