if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
