Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
