Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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