I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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