ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Fuck appropriateness.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
