Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
