seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
