you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
