I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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