Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
