oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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