oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Randomize
