God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
