At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
