She said her name was "party"
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
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hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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