I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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