I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dignity is for republicans.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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