can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
