Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
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Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
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I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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