Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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