remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
