Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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