Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
