When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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