Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
