Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
