Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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