Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
