So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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