im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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