It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
