He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How external is "for external use only"?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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