It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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