dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
