So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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