i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize