I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
