Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
