shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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