i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
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This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
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The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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