let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
No subtext here. People are naked.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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