Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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