So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
