I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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