Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
