Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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