I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The power of my boobs compel you
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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