That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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