So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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