craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I want to be your penis for a week.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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