she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
